Everyday since last week several journalists have been ringing my cellphone, asking me what I think about the new draft about anti-pornography (don't ask me why).

"Have you read the draft?" they said.
"Well, yeah, since you guys never stop asking about it." I answered.
"How do you react to it?
"It's stupid."
There was then a long pause.
"And...?" they asked.
Then, there was a long pause again. I was madly trying to find a more intelligent answer. I said:
"It's... stupid."
I don't know why they kept calling me.

If the draft becomes law, it will be unlawful to portray people kissing on films. Inul may also be out of job. Since it's ridiculous to set a standard which act makes people horny or not, we will have to be careful to do anything since it may be sexually arousing to people. I know my friends in high school got aroused when watching my biology teacher writing on the white board. She may have to quit her job. Wait. I think she already quitted and began sending women to work in an Arab country.

Why some people have problem with people kissing? It's an act of love. It's just love. What are they so afraid of? In fact, why some people have to have problem with pornography? Pornography's good. If I don't browse naked pictures or read sex stories and masturbate to them, I would go ballistic. I would want to smash things. I would want to break some glass. I would want to kick people's asses in the office. I release my tension by jerking off. Thanks to those pornographic material, jerking off sessions feel better. So pornography's good. It's not like they make me want to rape somebody, or some thing. And who says Inul's dance is sexually arousing? My straight male friends never jerk off after watching Inul (at least, not that I know of). Who says all naked pictures are pornographic? If they are, so what?

See why I can't say that to the journalists?

It has been months since the last time I blogged. I guess because life has been good and I have nothing to whine about. Two thousand and five has been the best year of my life so far and most of it because I have the greatest friends anyone can ever hope for. We spent new year's eve at my home, doing barbeque at my tiny parking spot in front of my house with fireworks blazing in the background. I've also made friends with the geckos. They can now take over my house only when I'm not in. I know this because they always leave some trails on my couch: their gecko shit. One evening I drank up the coffee I left from the morning. It tasted funny and I realized that some gecko had dropped its dropping in it. But that's ok. I shouted to them "You fucker!". One of them made sound. I guessed it said, "Sorry. My bad." Apology accepted.

Apart from all the good stuffs, there was one thing that bothered me at first. Some people have been accusing me to be the one behind this blog which make reviews on Indonesian movies. The blog has been creating huge splash for its non-compromising comments. I love the blog not because it happened to give my movie a good review, but for its wittiness. I endorsed the blog in a newspaper during an interview. It turned out to be the biggest mistake. I recommended the blog. And I used to be a film critic. So it must be me. Funny. I don't have time to do my laundry. Or make some time to discuss with the leader of the geckos what they can and can't do in my house.

For a while, it really annoyed me. But then I realized, you can not prevent people from making bad comments about you. Who says the world is a friendly place?

Filmmakers suffer from more critical attacks today. Back when the internet wasn't as widely used as stonewashed jeans or facial oil paper, they would only get bashed in printed materials. But now everybody can publish their opinion about a movie. Everybody has a blog. Anybody can add comments on the Internet Movie Database. And everybody tends to hate a movie today. Contrary to public opinion, I hate to hate a movie. Everytime I have to write a bad review for my column at The Jakarta Post, I feel like I have betrayed the form of art that has inspired, even saved my life so many times. Of course, it feels so good when I write a good review for a good movie.

After I become a filmmaker myself, I know how it feels to be critized (read what those who hate my first movie had to say here). Shortly after my directorial debut was released, I thought about quitting my job as a professional film critic. But then I discovered that I could appreciate a movie better than before I became a filmmaker. I shouldn't quit now. Not that when I (slightly) begin to get a hang on the craft. Strangely, being on both sides, I love movies more than ever. Now I think I can get more out of a movie. Now my believe is even firmer: if you can love a movie and other people can't, it's their lost. If I don't like a movie, it's my lost, too.

There's an article in this month's issue of Behind The Screen magazine about the lack of fresh ideas in Indonesian movies. What tickled me wasn't the fact that our local filmmakers seem to be unaware of so many sources for stories (when someone asked me for a story idea, I would flip through the pages of Pos Kota and picked one of many interesting stories, including about a phone sex lady who died after accidentally strangled herself with the phone cord while spinning around on her chair), but its comment about we shouldn't make more movies about love:

"We hope that the tendency (to focus the story on love) should not continue. At least, after Mira Lesmana and Riri Riza release GIE which has a considerably new theme. Love stories should not become the focus, it should stay only as a sweetener of the whole story."

I checked the list of my favorite films. Punch-Drunk Love, True Romance, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Beautiful Thing, Crying Game, Bring It On. All of them are about love (well, perhaps not Bring It On which tells the story of cheerleaders who seem to be on acid which should be an acceptable subsitute for love).

As cynical and jaded as I can be, I can never imagine suggesting filmmakers to stop making films about love. I mean, Cannibal Holocaust was one hell of an experience for me but if I have to watch more movies like that, I'm gonna grow roots and leaves, join the plants and separate myself from the rest of humanity.

I'd say let's make more movies about love. Put more of kissing scenes until our beloved censorship board get tired of snipping them off. Since when a kissing scene has become so harmful? Aa Gym said a kiss always lead to sex. Hmmm... I know a lot of people who fuck but will not kiss. Apart from they're being paranoid if people will find out that they have bad breath from eating dirty socks for breakfast, a lot will agree than a kiss is more intimate than sex. So show more kisses on screen, please.

It's only love. What are those people so afraid of?

Desperately trying to find an opening for my new script. Opening is the hardest (and middle is the most frustrating, and ending is the most dangerous since you'll want to end it as soon as possible). The bottom line is, writing a script is always difficult and it doesn't get easier by time. Once you are familiar with the usual trappings, you'll get more frustrated since the are less and less ways out. May be I shouldn't be writing scripts. There are already too many movies. Why bother writing more movies. I guess I'm just in the middle of a frustration.

But I've been listening to songs that should give soul to the script. I'm suppossed to write a children movie. But the songs in my playlist are those from Elliott Smith, Can, Bright Eyes, and the likes. I hope the script won't end up promoting suicides among children.